A friend who was a coworker and a member of Alcoholics Anonymous told me I needed to go to Al-Anon. I didn't understand how Al-Anon could possibly help my situation. She said my spouse's drinking wasn't my problem. I insisted it was. If my spouse stopped drinking, that would solve all my problems.

My friend suggested that my problem was my inability to accept my spouse's drinking. She went on to say that Al-Anon could help me work on myself, but it wasn’t a place to learn how to fix my spouse or to get him to stop drinking. I had difficulty accepting the possibility that I needed to work on myself. That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I did begin attending Al-Anon meetings and found people who were in situations similar to mine. They shared how they coped with the problem of alcoholism in their lives and how Al-Anon's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions helped them.

Soon I realized I had choices. In fact, I had lots of them. I could choose to be happy or not. I could choose to hang onto my serenity without allowing others to ruin my serenity. It was okay to hate the disease of alcoholism, but I could choose to detach with love from the alcoholic. I could also choose to get off the emotional merry-go-round I had been on for so many years while living with an alcoholic. Thank you, Al-Anon, for giving me choices!

By Peggy M., Georgia
The Forum, October 2005

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