I spent my 20s in one relationship after another. With each new partner, the relationship was the same as it had been with the previous person. Alcohol was always an important component. Young and wild, we went to parties, bars, or drank at home. Although my relationships seemed normal, we were only intimate strangers. Most of my friends were living the same way, so I didn't think there was a problem.

When I met my husband-to-be at a singles bar, I was in my early 30s. We partied together, but it was different because sometimes he didn't stop until he was extremely drunk or in a blackout. Because he was a binge drinker, this happened every three months, which was just long enough for me to forget there had been a problem.

I thought alcoholics were homeless, jobless, and pushed shopping carts. This man was young, handsome, educated, employed, and financially secure. I was also in denial, because if I acknowledged the truth I might need to change my life and I wasn't ready for that.

Shortly after we married, our friends and families found out the truth when my husband was arrested for drunk driving. That night after fighting about his drinking, he ended up in jail while I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was the beginning of a new life for me.

Al-Anon renewed my belief in a Higher Power who is kind, compassionate, and patient. I have an amazing Sponsor who shares her experience, strength, and hope with me. She has helped me work the Steps and find my own answers through working the program.

The members of my home group have loved and supported me through good times and bad. I came to Al-Anon seeking help for my ex-husband, but found a new way to live honoring God, other people, and myself instead.

I've been single for several years and recently started feeling the desire to share my life with someone. I know I can practice the program in all my affairs, especially in my relationships with men. I continue working Step Three. When the time is right, I know God will provide a relationship that honors the choices I am making and supports my relationships with myself and my Higher Power.

By Erin B.
The Forum, June 2005

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